ATTN: is a liberal “issues driven media company” who published a video October 26th, that addressed how women shouldn’t have to change their behavior to avoid sexual assault. Given my own personal experiences with sexual assault, I was very intrigued by what this video would have to say.
The video is a minute and a half long. The first line is a woman stating, “I am seriously so f#@$ing tired of being responsible for not getting raped.”
The video brings up experiences from women about what they do to be responsible for their own protection ranging from only wearing one headphone when they are walking to be alert, to having “eye gougers” on keys and carrying rape whistles to walking past their homes if they feel someone is following them so that people don’t know where they live.
These women discuss how they are afraid to walk by themselves, especially at night, and how they won’t wear ponytails so they don’t make it easier for an attacker to pull them by their hair. They also discuss recent technology of nail polish that will change color to detect date rape drugs.
The same woman from the beginning ends the video by saying, “You know what would be better? If we just taught young boys, that rape isn’t even an option.”
For the most part, as a woman, I can understand the anger, the fear, and the annoyance of taking additional steps every single day to protect ourselves from dangerous situations and predators. As a rape survivor, however, I feel their sentiments are also dangerous. While we shouldn’t have to change our behavior to avoid sexual assault, the truth is we live in a world where sexual assault is a reality for a great percentage of us.
Yes, we should teach and raise our boys to be good men, to not feel entitled to someone else’s body—in other words to not rape. However, I don’t know anyone who doesn’t teach or try to raise their children, including boys, right. At a certain point, in America, no matter what family you grow up in, everyone knows that rape is at the very least illegal and immoral. The difference between good men and rapists, however is that good men will never see rape as an option, but rapists will always see rape as an option.
It’s not enough to whine about our personal responsibility for protection—a call to action to share a video if we feel that rape culture should end and to teach our boys to know that sexual assault is not okay (when we already do) is not going to stop us from having to take those additional steps in order to protect ourselves and feel safe.
What can we do to prevent sexual assault?
The truth is—in the world we live in we have to take personal responsibility for our own protection.
After I was raped, I realized pepper spray clearly wasn’t enough, so I started to learn how to use firearms in self-defense and since then I’ve trained (and continue training) to carry a firearm to protect myself. I take situational awareness classes, the kind of classes that teach human behavior and how to spot behavior characteristics of an individual who is or group of people who are about to become violent. I train with knives; I have some hand to hand combat experience. I take every single step possible to protect myself from a person who doesn’t care that rape is illegal and already not an option. Because my rapist certainly didn’t care that rape wasn’t an option when he held a knife to my throat and I’m pretty sure he wasn’t taught to rape women when he was a young child.
Is it sometimes frustrating when I pass up wearing a cute outfit for something more practical so I can carry a firearm for self-defense? Yes, of course. But having been a victim of sexual assault, I can tell you I’d much rather be annoyed in a less than stellar outfit and have the ability to protect myself from violent criminals who will always exist, than be frustrated when I have yet another night of restless sleep from continuous nightmares related to being raped.
Should we continue to raise our boys the right way, to teach them about rape and its consequences and how that should never be an option? Absolutely. However, we also can’t neglect protecting ourselves, as so many individual comments about the video seem to suggest.
Whether you choose to carry a firearm for self-defense, like me, or you have other methods, know that as frustrating as it may be—the only person that can always protect you is you. Trust me, as someone whose been there, it’s much better to take the steps to protect yourself and give yourself a fighting chance than it is to become a victim of sexual assault and then start caring about your personal protection.
by Shayna Lopez-Rivas
Shayna Lopez-Rivas is a rape survivor and gun rights activist fighting for Second Amendment rights in Florida and across the nation. She does marketing for WVFT Freedom 93.3FM a local, conservative talk and sports radio station in Tallahassee, Florida where she also volunteers as a court appointed advocate for children in foster care. Shayna enjoys spending free time outdoors with her family, partner, and friends. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and her website shaynalopezrivas.com.
