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Memorial Day 2017: Section R Row 13 Site 665

It’s Memorial Day 2017 here in the United States and for some people it means a three-day weekend of family barbecues or camping trips, for many of us it means something entirely different. I work with a great deal of people who have served in combat roles in locations all around the globe and for them it’s to remember men and women who were lost in the line of duty. That was the original intention around the creation of the federal holiday that so many people enjoy. I was fortunate in my nearly 10 year career to never have lost a fellow Airman in a combat role, for that I consider myself lucky. I did have a friend and fellow Civil Engineer who was wounded in the 1996 Khobar Towers terrorist attack at Dharhan Air Base, while he was deployed to Saudi Arabia. That’s about as close as I ever got on a personal level to knowing anyone ever to be killed in the line of duty.

This year I chose Memorial Day to finally come to grips with something that is equally as difficult to process that has had an impact on my life and that is Veteran Suicide. The topic is one that gets a lot of press coverage with an estimated twenty-two Veterans a day committing suicide. I do want to say that the staff at the Veterans Administration and other outlets that track these statistics will admit that number is actually substantially lower than the actual number of suicides. Dealing with Veteran Suicide is a tough subject and especially tough around Memorial Day. On a day that we are supposed to be honoring our men and women that paid the ultimately sacrifice in the line of duty, how do we honor and remember those that died at their own hands ?

Why Now ?

To be honest, I chose to tackle this beast now because I’ve been burying my head in the sand and suppressing this anger and grief for almost three years. The military is great at teaching us to suppress emotions, and internalize them until the task is accomplished. It’s a great tool in the toolbox of life, but unhealthy when you learn to always put a new goal or obstacle in front of your need to deal with a Veteran Suicide. I’m not looking for a pat on the back or a pity party, what I am doing is laying this out there because if I feel this way at Memorial Day, there are chances that there maybe many others who also feel the emotional walls closing in. If it’s so stifling for me, I can’t imagine how much heavier it is for other people who have had to deal with repeated losses of friends and colleagues.

Pulling up to the spot in front of Section R of the Ft Richardson National Cemetery was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do in my life. The more steps I took toward Row 13 and looking for Site 665, the more I felt a sense of anger, confusion and pity. Feeling them all at once was something that no one could have prepared me for. The man I was there to see was one of the most influential in my military career, and my personal life. In fact without Technical Sergeant Darren P. Burt I wouldn’t be a gun writer at all. He was the one who first got me out shooting, and helped my pick out and purchase my first firearm. He was also a Sergeant that took time to grow his troops, both in life experiences and in duty assignments. A good man, who ultimately went down his own path that led to an earlier death than he deserved, a death that robbed many of us of years of memories and friendship.

Coping & Getting Help

I’ve been told that everyone copes and deals with death in their own way, some people drown themselves in food, booze, drugs or some other unhealthy addiction. Some people lock themselves away into a dark place and fight their own demons. Many of us suppress and then deal with the emotions later in life, sometimes that “later” is years down the road. Some of us do a combination of the lifestyles listed above, but eventually hopefully that is only for a season, and we come to the point I am at now. That is, face the facts, and get help. That help doesn’t have to result in a rubber padded room, anti-depressants or someone taking all your gun rights away. Help can come in many forms, but usually starts with a phone call or a meeting with someone who will just listen to you vent. Not someone who wants to solve your problems for you or belittle you in any form, just an ear to listen.

There is zero shame in reaching out and learning to deal with yourself and the effects that Veteran Suicide has on the Veteran community. If you have been in the military anytime in the last 20 years I am willing to bet that this subject has come to your front door. It’s an ugly trend that continues to increase and I wish I had the answer to fix it. Veteran Suicide doesn’t care about your pay grade, job specialty or unit affiliation, it is no respecter of your age, race, or gender. After reading the story of fellow Hurricane Group writer George Hand and his struggles with recovery from a suicide attempt I became very aware of these facts.

There is a list of ways to get help, from both the Veterans Administration and other sources. We have listed them at the bottom of the article with links for reference. Many of these groups also hold local meetings that can be a resource. People can always go the old-fashioned route and just call a friend from their past military days and go have a cup of coffee and just check in.

Choices & The Future

I choose to honor my friends who have died outside of the line of duty the same way I would if they had died on active duty. Continuing to remember them for their qualities and personalities that made them trusted friends in the first place. I am trying to learn how to cope with survivors remorse and the terrible sense that I let them down after they spent years looking out for me. I am learning that I don’t have to handle this burden alone, there are many of us in the same boat. The point is admitting that you aren’t coping well with the events and taking steps to combat that problem. I know it’s sometimes easier said than done.

It’s my opinion that living a full and healthy life is what my friends would have wanted me to do. Part of that is, in my opinion, learning to cope with events and then taking that message and lessons learned and helping other people in the Veteran community. If that means going to school to be a doctor or counselor in order to help Veterans at a clinic, or just being willing to drop some coin on a meal or a cup of coffee to be a good listener, then so be it.

If you don’t take anything else away from this article, just remember that you are NEVER alone and that help is only a step away. Even if you aren’t suicidal and just having a hard time processing the event, you are still never alone. Any of the below resources can help you. Thanks for reading this, Happy Memorial Day, and lets all take the time to make contact with and take care of each other so we can enjoy many more Holidays in the years to come.

Resources

Veterans Administration Suicide Help Line

1-800-273-8255 (PRESS 1 )

www.realwarriors.net

www.stopsolidersuicide.com

www.save22vet.com

www.operationneverforgotten.com

Memorial Day Reflection on the Influence of Veterans

Though I never served in the military, I’ve benefited from the impact of several significant influences, both in my family and among friends who served. My life is richer for having known them, learned from them, heard their stories, and shared in their perspectives.

My family has had more than a few soldiers and sailors, and we’ve been very fortunate seeing our loved ones come home.

Gampa

My grandfather (that we all called Gampa) was one of those significant influences. He was a Korean War navy vet who came home and built a beautiful life for my family. He had nothing but a strong work ethic. However, that was enough to build a remarkable legacy. He worked a full-time job while doing side jobs to save money. He saved and purchased a farm in southern Ohio, continuing to work a full-time job, while building his farm into a profitable enterprise.
Somehow he raised a family along the way, too. Gampa told stories often, but navy stories rarely; when he did, I listened. Most of the time, he chose to focus on the positive experiences— sharing all the places in the world he had seen, opening my eyes to the bigness of the world. However, when he spoke about those who have made the ultimate sacrifice— those we memorialize today— his words were NOT hollow; they held the weight of meaning.In fact, looking back, Gampa said very few things that didn’t hold meaning. Even his jokes were laced with lessons. People in the community seemed to recognize that he had something meaningful to say.

Coach

One of my first basketball coaches was a Vietnam War vet. When I visited his home, I always noticed the medals hanging in his office, but he never spoke about them. One of those medals was a purple heart. Most in our community knew him as a reliable professional, as if that wartime soldier was compartmentalized into another time and another life. I think he probably wanted it that way, but I’ll never forget one afternoon when he opened up and told his son and me out of the blue. He told us the story behind that purple heart. How he’d been shot three times in the stomach and lost several brothers that day. How he’d been forced to play dead while bodies were inspected by the Vietcong and how he’d crawled what seemed like miles in the jungle to get back to relative safety.

Arlington

It was due to these stories and others that when, as a high school senior, I walked into Arlington Cemetery for the first time, I was immediately struck by the impact and meaning of the place. Though some of my peers failed to sense the weight, I was immediately struck by the mass of men and women who not only served but gave their lives for our country. I looked out at what seemed like a sea of white head stones and my heart surged while my eyes filled with tears. These tears were tears of grief, hope, admiration, and of thanks.

Whatever you may be enjoying today in this great republic founded upon the concept of individual freedom, don’t fail to honor their memory.

There is no greater gift that a man may give than his life. Take time to remember that you and I have benefited from thousands of men and women who gave that ultimate gift.

We experience more freedom as a result of their sacrifice. What we do with our freedom matters. How we spend the gift they gave matters. Enjoy the day and embrace your freedom.

Use your freedom wisely, and live well! This post first appeared on getkickstop.com

When is it Time to Cull the Herd?

How many guns is “too many?” Well, how many is “enough?” That depends, right? If you’re a typical gun guy, the answer might be that something like this is a good start:

And, conversely, the answer might be an empty room, if you’re the spouse who sees the gun room as the mistress (a bad miscalculation: he would not leave you for getting jealous of a mistress) or one of these people, jonesing for gun bans:

(You have to wonder how many of those are Single Moms Demand types after the usual ultimatum: “Either the guns go, or…” Experience teaches that the guys are generally happier with the guns).

For the rest of us, the right answer might be: “Just one more!” Or “just a few more!”

Over the years, we’ve observed an interesting phenomenon. The guys who build amazing collections are not gun hoarders, and they don’t mind letting one, or some, go, for a purpose. We’re nearer to hoarders, and we have safes cluttered with junk that came in as auction bycatch, or guns that are more interesting because of the circumstances in which we acquired them, than due to any particular strength of them.

And guns do tend to accumulate. After a recent buying spree, we’re still trying to get everything corralled in the inventory, and we have enough money tied up in guns that it’s a part of our Solvency Statement, which is a bit like a personal version of the accounting statements that firms and non-profits must make periodically.

For example, we have more in guns than we have in any individual stock or mutual fund. And so it factors into wealth management and estate planning.

It would be irresponsible to leave a messy estate, so it’s probably time to cull the herd. Nobody else will care about the memories that come with some junker or other, because those memories will be off in the afterlife. (The good news about the afterlife: if either the moslems or we Christians are right, where we’re going there’s no moslems).

And it’s probably better to balance the portfolio… as we’ve written before, guns are a lousy investment. We’re just ready to delude ourselves and remember only the ones that did appreciate, and forget how many years it took them to do so and what the same cash would have done in an index fund.

So it’s time for inventory again, and then it’s time for some of the chilllens to go make their way in the cruel, hard world with some new ~~hoarder~~ collector.

And that runs up against a hoarding trigger: With a couple of exceptions for junkers and good trades, every single gun we’ve sold over the years, we’ve come to regret.

Plus, if we sell only junk, while we improve the quality of the collection overall, we don’t really free up much money. One of the things we have is a Jennings J22. (It was bycatch in a six-firearm auction lot). It’s missing a part, but if it costs $25 for the part we still have a $25 gun. Another is a pretty little Italian .25 that has an … interesting … safety. In the fire position, the gun fires. And in the safe position, it fires. (Well, it clicks. With this result on a function check, we’re not inclined to put real cartridges in the thing). If those Italian engineers had put 1/10th of the effort into function that they put into styling… but then, we had a Fiat in the family, once, too, and we’ve listened to Ferrari owners complain about build quality, and seen a drawer full of broken M9 locking blocks.

Plus, we either need to buy another safe (and down that road looms the spectre of, what happens when you’re out of “where to put safes”?), or free up some space.

You know, for the guns we’ll buy with the money from these ones. You gotta keep the portfolio balanced!

Firearms Addiction, or just a Collecting Problem?

Do you have a problem with firearms? Or are you a full-on gunaholic? Before you start looking for a Dropkick Murphy’s Drying-Out Academy for gun addiction, you should consider the signs and symptoms of this increasingly common addiction. Adapted from this site’s list of issues with an older but equally common addiction.

It’s hard to be objective when it comes to figuring out whether you or your loved one has a problem with gun collecting. Emotions run high, rationalizations and denials lead to confusion and it can seem hard to draw the line between what’s acceptable and what’s going too far. Although the boundaries are fuzzy, issues with guns are either classed as “gun problem” or “gun dependence.” Problem gun collectors don’t have a full-fledged addiction to guns, but their acquisition may be starting to take its toll on their everyday lives and they are at greatly increased risk for becoming dependent later. So while some of the warning signs of gun dependency are technically signs of problem gun acquisition, there is a lot of overlap, and identifying either one is cause for concern. Here are 10 of the most important things to look out for in yourself or your loved one:

Lying About or Hiding Your Gun Collecting – Denial is common with people having problems with gun collecting, so both problem gun collectors and addicts might buy secretively or lie about how much they buy to make it seem like less of an issue. This can be hard to spot for anybody but the individual, due to its very nature, but it’s an important sign of a more serious problem.

Collecting to Relax or Feel Better – Almost all people struggling with addiction abuse their substance of choice for emotional reasons. Whether it’s stress, depression, anxiety or anything else, using GunBroker as a method of easing negative feelings is a risky habit—the “relief” it provides is only temporary and it ordinarily makes things worse in the long run. If you bid more when you’ve had a stressful day or need to refresh your Watch List to feel like you can really relax, it’s a big sign that you’re using gun collecting as an emotional crutch.

“Blacking Out” Regularly – Buying so much that you have no memory of what you have bought is another red flag for a problem with collecting. So is buying something because you forgot you already own one, or talking yourself into “upgrading” a piece when you know you’ll never part with the original. Simply put, it means you buy way too much. If you find this happening to you (or notice it happening to someone else), you have to ask what is driving you to collect so excessively? You don’t need to black out to have fun, so what’s the real reason?

Being Unable to Stop Once You Start – If you always pursue every roll-marking variation once you’ve bought one piece, or hunt down every exotic sub-version when even another specialist’s eyes glaze over when you try to explain the hair-splitting difference, it’s another sign you aren’t in full control of your collecting and you may have a problem.

Collecting in Dangerous Situations – Buying when you really shouldn’t—like browsing GunBroker at work, rerouting your convoy to go to the village where the elder’s uncle is a gunsmith in Darra Adam Khel, or buying against your wife’s orders when she’s one more little .25 from taking the kids and going back to her mother with half your stuff—is an important sign of problem collecting. Even if something hasn’t gone wrong yet, every time you do something like this you run the risk of serious consequences. Regularly taking those risks strongly implies that gun buying is the main priority in your life.

Neglecting Your Responsibilities – If you’re having problems at work, school or with your household responsibilities because of your gun buying, you have a problem. Guns have crossed the line from an occasional indulgence to something that seriously impacts your day-to-day functioning.

Having Trouble in Your Relationships – This is closely related to the last point, but it’s in many ways more important. If your collecting is causing problems with your closest friends, your significant other or your family, it’s an indication that guns are a bigger priority than even the most important people in your life. These last two symptoms are general signs of any addiction, and might mean that your issues are going beyond the problem-collector stage.

Being Able to Collect More Than You Used To – Tolerance is another key sign of addiction, so if you can collect more than you used to and need to buy more than you did before in order to get that happy feeling, it’s a strong indicator that you’re becoming an gunoholic. It means your body is exposed to firearms regularly enough that it has adapted to cope with it better.

Experiencing Withdrawal – Withdrawal is different from a hangover; it’s the reaction to the lack of gun acquisition rather than a direct effect of too much buying. If you start to feel irritable, tired, depressed, nauseous or anxious when you haven’t bought a gun, there’s a possibility you’re going through withdrawal. Other signs include having trouble sleeping, losing your appetite and experiencing shakiness or trembling.

Trying to Quit but Being Unable to – If you have realized your gun collecting is becoming a problem (or someone who cares about you has) and tried to make a change but have been unsuccessful, you should seriously consider finding additional help. Deciding to quit gun collecting shows that you understand the impacts it’s having on your life, but the fact that you’re unable to means there’s a big chance you’re struggling with gun addiction.

(If you do seek help and decide to divest yourself, we can help you. Just sayin’. Not that we have a problem or anything. -Ed.)

It’s important to note that experiencing just one of these signs doesn’t necessarily mean you’re a problem collector or an gunoholic, but if you’re experiencing a few of them (or you see numerous signs in a loved one), there is a very strong possibility your collecting has gone too far. The latter five symptoms in particular are signs of addiction rather than problem buying.

It might not be an easy road ahead, but one day you’ll see deciding to get help as the day your life started to change for the better.

And like we said, if one of the guns screwing up your life is rare and Czech, give us a ring, we’ll make sure it finds a good home. Heh, heh.

Gun Owners : Don't be Part of the Problem

There are many subcultures in the firearms community. You have three gunners, hunters, cowboy action shooters, 1911 fanatics, and weekend plinkers to name a few. Chances are that we are all a cross over of several types of the shooting categories I listed. The common bond with all these groups is our shared love and respect of the firearms and the shooting sports as a whole.

I would like to believe that despite our gun preferences and different backgrounds that we all as the firearms community and movement could work toward advancing the pro gun causes of the collective firearms community. The problem if I can call it that with the collective positivity is that there is a small segment of our gun community that seems hell bent on stopping the growth the the hobby by their actions. This is the small segment of our culture that I am addressing when I say Gun Owners, Don’t be part of the problem. We all know the type of personality I’m talking about, we collectively refer to him as “That Guy”.

We Have all seen “That Guy” hell I’m willing to bet that some of us have been “That Guy”. Sometimes we have behaved in a manner consistent with douchebag behavior by our own choice, other times its without any real conscious thoughts, we just react and poof, were are acting like douchebags before we know it. It happens from time to time at the range or the office or even in the firearms industry itself. A person can come across as so aggressive or egotistical that they speak or act in a manner that honestly paints all gun owners in a negative light. There are literally dozens of these types on YouTube and millions of followers. This type of behavior is one that almost everyone I personally know in the firearms community works tirelessly to overcome.

Beware “That Guy” is Everywhere

We don’t have to go very far to see the negative effects of these types of people in the firearms industry and community. I’m sure we all have the same type of stories about the guy or gal at the local gun shop or big box store that we all cringe when we see him helping new shooters. That’s what seems to be the universal constant with these types of people they exhibit a lot of the same personality traits and tendencies. For fun we decided to list a few of them, the list could be a mile long but we kept it short.

Attributes of “That Guy”

Loud & Abrasive
Has “Been there, done that” mentality
Refuses to be open to ideas or contrary opinions
If he doesn’t own “It” than its garbage
Always seems to have some sort of Special Operations Sniper Friend who trained him
Likes the phrase ” I wish someone would ….”

The personality that I’ve described unfortunately isn’t unique to just the shooting range, your local office or the small gun shops, it also is in place in the larger firearms industry as well. As a professional writer I have been to SHOT Show in Las Vegas twice now and I can tell you that it exists to a smaller extent in the larger world of firearms manufacturing and importing. In my three plus years of writing and covering the industry I have seen first hand the backroom dealings and shady antics of people in the industry. The firearms world maybe large in terms of dollars but it’s relatively small in terms of knowing people. Employees move from company to company in this industry and networking is a huge key to many introductions and deals. A good reputation will open many doors, and a bad one will leave you with a stack of business cards and no return calls. There is a way to be a professional, and most people I have dealt with in the industry know that and act accordingly.

All is Not Lost…How to Fight Back Against “That Guy” Mentality

I’m not trying to paint a bad view of the firearms industry, but it is like every other type of business, there are good guys and not so good guys. The people I have met and worked with professionally are some of the nicest, most generous and professional people I have ever met in business. That is because they work hard to counteract the effects of the “That Guy” personalities that are out there. The bottom line when it all boils down is that they recognize a problem, and make conscious efforts to correct it in their business life and model. We can do the same thing in our personal lives either at the office, the range, or in our own sphere of influence.

In closing I will tell you something a U.S. Army Green Beret once told me about team building “Being successful is about recognizing everyone brings something to the table and using what they brought”. This simple phrase has stuck with me as I have tried to apply it to the gun world. We need the new gun owners, We have new people coming into our sport all the time, and they bring an enthusiasm and eagerness to learn and tell all their friends how much fun it is to shoot and own guns. We need this growth to sustain the industry and spur gun sales. Growth in the amount of legal gun sales will help us in the long run as a hobby and an industry. We also need the older shooters who are willing to teach, train and the new generation.

I love the firearms community as much as the next guy, hell I chose to be involved with it as a second career, squeezing it between college, a personal life and a 40 hour a week day job. BUT, We have to be better as a community about policing ourselves. I’m not talking about making a governmental organization to control ourselves, we already have that in the BATFE with all its regulations. I’m talking about taking simple small deliberate steps to stamp out the effects of “That Guy” mentality.

Be willing to check your ego and talk to the new gun owner and listen to their points of view, be willing to call a call someone out when you see something that is detrimental to the gun industry. I’m not saying start a fight, I’m saying to act with a measure of common sense and handle the situation, Verbally. Get involved with Project Appleseed, the NRA Instructors Program or some other program, but just Do SOMETHING. Get in the game and show people that the “That Guy” personality is a small minority of the firearms community on a personal and professional level.

So you want to be a Gun Writer? Start writing.

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