At 3 am, and at the age of 16, how do you explain to your father that you just got kicked in the mouth during a no holds barred initiation against multiple opponents and received a round house kick in the teeth and that in turn it split your lower lip open? Um, you don’t, but I had to. Being the super-duper smart kid that I was I duly explained that I tripped on my way to McDonald’s and fell on a rock. The shouting by my father that came through the phone that early summer morning was deafening.
How did this all start? Without getting too much into the weeds, because of my young age the hospital needed parental consent in order for them to sew my lower lip together, and I needed to call pops to agree to it. I mumbled awkwardly and painfully into the phone, when he asked for battle damage, and said I could probably stick my pinkie finger into the opening cut of lower lip. The next few weeks were the worst for me. Absolute pain. The next morning my lip ballooned up literally to bizarre proportions and it was simply painful to eat and speak. I tried to refrain from doing both.
Spot a Good One
So mouth guards are a good thing if you think you’re Mike Tyson, huh? Mouth guards do a lot to prevent serious injuries to your mandibles, face, and lips. Guards also protect your tongue and cheek lining. Imagine losing your teeth. Okay, chances are you’re not going to pull a mouth guard out of your pocket, before dealing with a mugger or wild friends, but you should at least be able to spot a good brand. Yep, this is a good thing to have if you’re thinking about starting a life where you’re going to get punched in the face repeatedly.
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